Taylor Martinez had a story come out on CBS Sports’ web page a few days ago. It was, to be perfectly honest, a fairly un-noteworthy piece. It wasn’t particularly revelatory, incendiary, or chalk-full of candid talk from the soon-to-be-fifth-year senior at Nebraska. It was mainly just a brief piece that attempted to give us a little insight into an enigmatic, mysterious player that is constantly rumor-mongered about in the state of Nebraska. I don’t think that it did any of that. There was one piece of the story that did jump out at me. One stunning, eye-opener, that was casually atom-bomb-dropped on us as though it was of lesser significance.
In case you didn’t want to stop over and read the article. Here’s what the headline looked like:
And here’s what I saw when I read the headline:
The article, which was fine in the same way that eating Vanilla ice cream tastes good (*Author’s note: nothing against the author. Martinez seems more guarded than Guantanamo Bay around media types and I truly don’t blame him.) didn’t really touch too much on the App part of the headline but that was what intrigued me.
The article briefly alludes to Martinez’s enjoyment of playing the stock market and of his hobby of creating iPhone apps within the first 3 paragraphs. He went from a monotone, unintelligible purveyor of clichés to The Most Interesting Man in the World. Suddenly the possibilities were endless for what Martinez could be doing in his free time.
What if he was actually a savant? A boy-genius that was misunderstood? What if he was not going to be playing on NFL scout teams to simulate Colin Kaepernick next year, but kicking it with Gordon Gecko on Wall Street or hanging with Mark Zuckerberg in a tech lab?
Before I let this sled dog team of inane thinking run away with me, however, one key piece of this article kept sticking out. Taylor Martinez was a creator. Of phone apps. The only one they mentioned in the article was a puzzle-type game involving pattern repetition called, “Follow the Pattern.” That got me thinking. . .
What other games might Taylor Martinez have invented for iPhone? He’s had some free time this offseason. In between trying to hold off the on-rushing tidal wave of co-eds and working on his throwing motion, here are a few of the games I found on iPhone’s App Store that appear to have been created by none other than Taylor Martinez.
This relatively new app is a terrifically entertaining game, based on the highly regarded life and times of former Husker Chase Rome, that allows you to choose from these hilarious options the moment you open it up:
If you select “no.” Here’s what pops up on the next screen:
It goes on like this for roughly 256 levels. The fun never stops. That’s the whole game. You see, the fun part is quitting, changing your mind, and then quitting again. It’s great!
For Whom the Bell ‘Fros
This game, based incredibly loosely on the novel by Ernest Hemingway, is all about ‘Froing people Kenny Bell style. You have a teacher that’s driving you wild? ’Fro ‘em. Parents won’t get out of your room, tweenagers? ’Fro those misunderstanding parents. Not only will your parents look like they had their hair styled by a soul train dancer, but they just might develop into the best wide receiver Nebraska’s seen in years.
Check out defensive coordinator John Papuchis after he got Bell ‘Fro’d:
The fun never ends. As you can see from the terribly placed ‘Fro, this one’s still in Beta.
T-Magic The Gathering
This one appeals more to the fantasy nuts out there. As the cards in the deck are played, using up your Martinezmana, you attack your opponent. Based on what kind of deck/cards you have, you are then able to either Oklahoma State 2010 someone or they will Wisconsin 2011 you. It’s kind of complicated, but just know this: phonecardgames are about to taste the majesty of a T-Magic revolution.
And finally, the Magnum Opus of Martinez’s iPhone App creations:
This game has gone totally viral. In it you bombard your pig-like nemeses with none other than the angriest of all birds, Bo Pelini. Each bird has a different colored crewneck, as well as a different Bo-Pelini-is-probably-going-to-murder-you-than-cannibalize-your-dead-body Pelini face. You play through various levels, attempting to destroy, explode, and bomb everything in your way. You know, just kind of treat the pigs like the referees that are constantly out to destroy your team and everything that’s good and just in the world.
These are just a few of the marvelous Apps that Martinez has developed. The future looks bright for this budding young techno-whiz.